This is mental health awareness week/month. A definition of mental health from the World Health Organisation has a holistic approach to what this is and what it can mean for us in our daily lives.
"Mental health is the foundation for the well-being and effective functioning of individuals. It is more than the absence of a mental disorder; it is the ability to think, learn, and understand one's emotions and the reactions of others. Mental health is a state of balance, both within and with the environment. Physical, psychological, social, cultural, spiritual and other interrelated factors participate in producing this balance. There are inseparable links between mental and physical health. More than 100 million people suffer from mental health disorders in the Western Pacific Region. Depressive disorders alone are responsible for 5.73% of the disease burden in here"
The question "how are you" is something that each of us ask on a daily basis when we meet someone we have not seen in a long time or if we bump into them in the supermarket. What answer are you hoping to hear, "I am fine thanks" Me too, see you later is sometimes how these conversations could go. Can we listen and be there for someone's honest answer as to how they really are and what they are feeling inside.
"How are you"
"Today I am not feeling my best, I am feeling frustrated with how people are treating me and what is going on in the environment"
"Tell me more, I am listening and with you to express what that is about for you"
I called my show Voice of a Woman which has two very strong aspects to it. The first is the exquisite voices women possess in music and what those voices express and tell us. We connect with artists in this way in so many deep levels and in this way this is good for our mental health, music lifts our mood, helps to heal us and validates the way we may be feeling about something that has happened to us in our lives we may not have had a chance to talk to anyone about.
Grief is something we all go through with so much loss in our lives particularly over the last years with the pandemic and also throughout our lives with those who have died and who we will never forget. Song like this one certainly help to comfort, heal and help us to go through those emotions in a healthy way. Jenny Colquitt's song Tell Me Where The Light is is one song that really helps to cope with these strong feelings and what it can bring up for all of us. We all go through grief and loss in our own different ways and this is a healthy way to do this.
Link to song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ma7qC0SlD_g
The other aspect of it is voices not being heard or silenced, everyone has their own story of their lives and what that is about for them. Everyone deserves to be listened to and to have empowerment in their own voice and not have the fears of judgement and more that can prevent someone seeking help.
A sense of belonging is something each of us need to feel in our families, community, work place and within ourselves. So many experiences happen when growing up that can create some difficult challenges that we as humans have to face, abuse, bullying, strong expectations on us to perform and be a certain way at all times, discrimination based on sex, gender, race and disability. Basing this on the who meaning of mental health it is how we function with all this going on in our environments and how we process them when we are alone in our own environments. We can learn ways to cope with this.
I was bullied at school and this feeling of never fitting in and never feeling that someone had your back is a hard thing to go through and can still go through that today. Not everyone will like you and they will not be shy to tell you that or they can just say the cruellest things and laugh when you cry and dislike the way they have treated you. As with the poster you can feel so alone in this and well meaning advice sometimes does not help, just ignore them, don't let it get to you, don't fight back, they are just going through something in their life, let them be. All well meaning advice but when you are the one being humiliated, hurt by the actions of someone else and you get no support in that it is hard to express through your voice how this can feel. Words hurt deep.
Labels can be a helpful tool in some respects however in this context it can really hurt and destroy a person's self acceptance and esteem and make them feel guilty just about being who they are. So what if someone is carrying more weight than they should, so what if someone wants to change gender, so what if someone wants to listen to music you may not like, so what if someone has a different opinion to you. Does this mean they are a "Flipping idiot, what do they know"
I have known individuals who have been so distraught and so in pain they have wanted to take their own lives. What pain and heartache must a person be in to want to do this. I have seen so many negative responses to this that it hurt to my very bones calling a person in pain a "That". Mental illness has come on from many years ago thankfully and there are still ways to go. It is a two way street when providing care and helping people who are in this amount of distress. It is about self compassion and recovery not keeping them stable. Finding meaning in life is so so important as at the end of the day we are all only human.
Being kind is what has been in the media and what every human being wants in every respect, what does it mean to be kind to you, are you kind to all the poeple you meert in your day? Are you kind to yourself ? Maybe you can try some of these tips and be kind today and everyday for someone who you may not know and who may just need it.
